SamQ91, I read this thread from your first post, and I, too, found Chris’s direct quote from the material helpful, especially in response to your question about if how you were feeling was “normal.” First, there is no normal - only points on an infinite spectrum of being. To fear that you are not normal implies that you must not be right or healthy. Certainly, that you are not like those “normal people” you see all around you. Seth’s wisdom about how illness can only exist if we believe in it is very powerful.
I read an article recently about how young people were finding it hard to cope with the expectation placed on them by society to excel at everything, to be a “together” person. The main concern in the piece was the elevated rate of suicide on campuses of top colleges nationwide.
A consortium of university professionals working to find better ways to deal with this unfortunate trend placed part of the blame on the artificial perfection we are exposed to on social media. Let’s face it, very few people post ugly pictures of themselves on Facebook; rather, their timelines are a series of their peak moments. It’s easy to see why so many of us feel that there must be something wrong with us. I am not saying that this is why you feel the way you do, of course, but maybe this particular angle of thought might give you a starting point to work from .
As to your admission that sometimes you feel completely connected to the material, and just a few days later, you feel like it makes no sense to you at all, this is a funny thing about time and space and “the real world” you refer to. Since reality is what we perceive it to be, our perceptions can change very quickly. While we may not be aware of the change within ourselves, and most often, I believe, we are not aware of this at all, it appears to us that something “out there” has changed.
You and the other commentator, (pardon me for not remembering your name), mention that you are relatively new to the material, and that probably, with time and practice, you will have passed this phase of on again, off again experience. I hope I don’t discourage you from always moving forward, but after 40 years of working the material, I can honestly say that there have been long periods in my life when I was in the Seth “zone”. On the other hand, there have been major lacunas, sometimes lasting years, when I became totally disconnected from this inate comprehension. I used to beat myself up about this, yet in time I came to realize that this was not only “normal” but actually an essential part of the process for me.
What I realized was that each time I snapped back into that zone, I was that much farther ahead than when I had dropped away. There is a reason they call the flowering of our full potential as creators of reality a process. We all process things differently, in our own time. Some of us need to dip back into unconsciousness from time to time in order to more fully appreciate the power within us.
I focused on your statement above because “something within (you) keeps (you) pushing forward” , and that something is precisely what will place you exactly where you need to be at all times. It will never desert you even when you think it has disappeared. I call it the pilot light in my gut. In the darkest moments of my life, that pilot light becomes very small and dim, but it makes its presence known just in time to keep me from giving up.
Remember that you already know this material inside yourself. Trust that it will become more “real” to you as you are ready to manifest it. There is no time limit, no schedule, no rush to get anywhere. Time is infinite - enjoy the ride.