So going on from what I said above… I had a kind of spontaneous realisation yesterday while arguing with my partner over some fears I have which I realised was coming from certain beliefs that I used to exercise in my past in relation to an ex partner. I still have not quite worked out how the beliefs caused the event that took place yesterday but I can see how they cause me fear in the present. This kind of past ‘working out’ is quite different from sitting there and grilling into your past purposely looking for beliefs, right? (I hope this make sense)
So (in my own words) what your saying is that constantly thinking positive thoughts and trying to be happy and positive all the time in general is exhausting (and I have attenpted this and it does feel like a chore after a while but I thought I must have been doing it wrong so I stopped)…but just simply
Noticing the thoughts/beliefs in the moment and changing them is easier, or less of a chore. Am I right?
It is not exhausting with the proper beliefs, but effortless, because the beliefs generate the thoughts and emotions. Forcing them with detrimental beliefs in place is exhausting.
Yes I heartily recommend changing the belief instead. Many times I’ve tried to force the positive attitude about something, even for weeks on end, and in one short 15 minute or so really deliberate introspective session realized I believed a silly thing, and completely transformed how I felt from then on. Yes it is definitely worth it.
You have to remember the core steps: do not identify with your beliefs/thoughts/emotions, you have them but you are not them, you can change them to your liking. Your beliefs are available, in the present, in the conscious mind - that is, the waking part of your mind you use every day, even though you may have formulated the belief (think about it like a judgement if that helps) minutes ago and are no longer thinking about it, it’s still there and accessible. Some may be invisible to you because you are thinking of them as facts of reality. Be on guard. Anything you think of as a fact is a belief. Simply be on guard to this and you will be able to see what you often see through. Seth calls these invisible beliefs, accessible but not noticed. You only have to be on guard, and they will become visible. And of course, finally, you can change these beliefs.
Incidentally, you change those beliefs by applying the deliberately / willfully forced imagination, thought and emotion mentioned earlier, except now you are aware of the belief and you are telling yourself, “this is not necessarily true even though I believe it”. You move thought in this way, you propel ideas. Change beliefs.
This repeats what I just said above, but you may find this post I wrote with exact steps for changing a belief helpful: Child stuck on fearful, anxious thoughts
The trick in my experience is to remember to do this. I often get so caught up in physical events when I’m feeling blue that I forget all positive reinforcement. This frustrates me because I wish more than anything to be able to remember no matter what the mantras and exercises that would help free me every time! Thank you Chris, I have gotten a lot out of your words and will apply them as best I can. Also, sorry for confusing you with another earlier, at the time I did feel like something was not right in assuming that Chris was yourself
“Our external relationships mirror the relationship with our inner self”.
that is inetersting.
I used to be very communicative person and usually got well with others. Now due to some circumstances I am not. The question is then do I have problems with my inner self then? I ask because I find myself deep in trouble right now.
I guess I will write a separate message to discribe and ask for an advise.
Warm regards to everyone,
using your own thinking, imagine what you would advise a friend in your situation. This is solution oriented and why we can quite often see a clearer path for others.
Chris, This the clearest explanation I have ever read! I was actually able to access one of my long held beliefs (basically that if you go to the wrong kindergarten, grammar school, on up, you will not be able to get into the "“old boy network”, no matter how hard you work.) Just now examples of why this is not always true came into my mind. I had always qualified the exceptions before, but after reading your step by step method, I can see this belief melting. BIG thank you!
Just quoting myself from that other topic.