Dealing with others with the one world (inner & outer) view?


#1

As of late I have been finding it quite challenging dealing with those people who completely look outside themselves for blame and problems. It’s difficult not to give them a lecture but this obviously wouldn’t be very pleasing. I realise I may be projecting as well but in general has anyone else found it difficult at times to deal with the average person, especially when they are blaming you for their feelings and issues? If so, how did you eventually cope?

Thanks xx


#2

Also I’ll add I’m being very basic here in my explanations and there is more to it but this is the gist of it.


#3

Seth class session - Sept. 18, 1973

Student: “How can you help a person who believes that you are making
them miserable?”

Seth: “Leave them alone!”

Student: "Wait, let me finish, - and they believe that you are making
them miserable. How can you help them change that belief, to see
that they themselves are doing it without…how can you help
someone to see that they create their own reality, or to accept
that in this tenet?

Seth: “First of all, if they believe that you’re causing them misery,
then you should leave them alone. It is the best help that you can
give them at that time. It is false sympathy to do otherwise. You are
not helping. The help now can come, but while that belief is held
it cannot come from you.”

Student: “Even with my own thoughts, or whatever my beliefs are,
without coming near this person, how can my attitude, my thoughts, or
whatever I direct toward this person, help them change that
belief?”

Seth: "Then, in your own mind, imagine them realizing that they form
their own reality, and, in your mind, see this realization on their
part, and, otherwise, do nothing. You cannot force a belief on
another person. You cannot know, as Ruburt would call it, the
inward order of their events. You should not try to force your
ideas upon them, or your beliefs.

Student: “Then you say, ‘I’m not making you miserable, that way?’”

Seth: "Let them go their way, in their own way. You are your
responsibility. Each person is his own responsibility. You are
trying to prove a point. You want to help, but you are still trying to
prove a point. You are setting up resistances and the more you
insist that your way is right, the greater the barrier. Ideas are
fluid, like water. Left alone, they will change. You set up a dam
when you insist, “You must see it my way”. Beliefs form reality.

Student: “What if I have never said that? But it may be that I take
that attitude, in a certain way, but I don’t think that it is that
vocal and outspoken, but I understand that I am not the cause of this
person’s misery, or wish or not wish to live.”

Seth: "Then let that be sufficient. The individual is using you also,
and you are allowing it. As long as someone can point to you and
say, “You are the cause of my misery”, then they do not have to
face themselves. And, as long as you play the game, you take
part in it and you do not help. You do not have enough faith in the
individual involved. They will find it their own way, in their own
way, and joyfully take that for granted.

Now, this is not meant to be a question and answer format
from all galleries and corners this evening. I simply wanted you
to know that I was here. I got cornered!"


#4

Wow thank you. That perfectly answered my question, as you knew it would :smile:


#5

I’m glad. I hoped it would!


#6

I was looking for this in my collection of Seth quotes, last week - I was in such a dilemma, after (written) contact with an old childhood friend, who claimed that she felt ‘suppressed’ by my ‘strong personality’ when we were young. I don’t remember that at all - and felt like responding, that she felt suppressed first, and bingo - I came along for her to hang that hang-up on, :-))) - but I didn’t. I havn’t answered her yet, and have decided not to. No point in going over old ground like that without any chance of honest communication . and thats how I feel when I get blamed - no honest communication possible. Anyway - glad its here! Seth holding my hand again… :-))))


#7

Thanks for your input Rachel :slight_smile: I have also realised after a confusing and rough last few weeks with my partner that when he blames me for his feelings/reality it’s best that I just stop trying to communicate and trying to get him to understand my point of view. As Seth said, the more I try to get my point across so that the other person sees my viewpoint only the more I set up resistance and I’m really just effecting myself in a negative way. I have felt SO MUCH better just letting, what could have led to an argument, go. Plus it’s interesting watching someone stand their ground and blame you and have it not effect you at all and instead just observing the event taking place.

May I ask, what did you mean by “your collection of Seth quotes”? I have been wanting for some time to gather together the most helpful quotes to me but am unsure how to go about it. What do you have them in? Where do you keep them, etc?

Thank you :smile:


#8

Hi Sam,

Yes, I sometimes hear blame ‘from a distance’ too - often thinking: who are they talking to? – sometimes its too crazy to spend time on. :-))

And about quotes. I copy/paste quotes into iPages(Word) and save them to a file. My Seth file. :-))) But its not very organized, lol . . so I can’t always find what I’m looking for.


#9

Thank you for the excellent Seth quotes. I would add, as you walk away from the situation (either physically and/or emotionally) check your intention and make sure it is one of love and kindness toward yourself and toward the other person. The negativity will dissipate in time, and if there is anything to be done to help the other person and/or the relationship, the answer will appear. If not, that’s okay.